What the !#*$@ and people wonder why some take Broadway as a big joke! First the announcement of Taylor Swift being offered Eponine in the movie version of ‘Les Mis’ and then this!? This is embarrassing… What producer in the right mind… Hey, hey, it’s alright. Breath. As awful as it may sound it’s not what you think.
Yes, Twilight: The Musical is a real production that’s officially headed to NYC. Now before you guys stab your eyes out, or book first row tickets, you should know that the production is not expected to have a long run. Do I hear cheering amid the tears?
Twilight: The Musical will make its off-Broadway debut as a one-night staged reading on January 16th. All proceeds will benefit the charity Blessing in a Backpack. The musical is in no way attached to Summit Entertainment or Stephanie Meyer. The production seems to be a borderline parody of the popular series. If it’s a parody, to keep from being sued, the production would have to change the name of the characters and several other elements of the story, however, the original character names are still intact. The fact that no one is making a profit from the show also helps the case.
According to the website, the show, “examines our culture of obsession through the story of teenage outsider Bella Swan who risks everything when she embarks on a star-crossed romance with Vampire Edward Cullen.”
The cast itself maybe the only reason to see this… OK and the fact that it’s for a charity. The cast includes the wonderfully talented Lauren Lopez, who played Draco Malfoy opposite of Darren Criss‘ Harry Potter in his musical version of the boy wizard titled, A Very Potter Musical. Let it be known, Lopez is one talented actress/singer.
The musical, workshopped last year in NYC, includes lyrics such as “Nothing ever happens in Forks” and “I wish I had a boyfriend”. This does hint at a musical in the style of A Very Potter Musical, and seems to make fun of the sap drenched series. If that’s the case, then I’ll give a couple of bucks to charity and watch Lopez sing her face off as Alice. Cool.
It’s also been announced that characters named Harry Potter and Hermione Granger will make an appearance. Hopefully their appearance in the show sparks a full on Harry Potter vs Twilight war… ending with Harry Potter winning of course.
Well, guys I think we can all breath a little. It’s calming to know that Twilight: The Musical isn’t making its big Broadway debut anytime soon. Lets hope and pray some wisecrack producer doesn’t see this and get any ideas. For the love of all things remotely amazing and artistic, we do not want to see werewolves and sparkling vampires dancing and singing in tights. Please.
Note to the writers/creators: If you’re going to make it a parody, change the title… Twilight: The Musical sounds way too official and scares a lot of Broadway enthusiast. Try Sparkling Dames vs Heartbroken Werewolves: The Musical... now that sounds like a parody!
Here’s a youtube video of the song ‘Dance Around the Subject’ featuring Edward and Bella Swan.
‘Dance Around the Subject’ from Twilight: The Musical
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