Most of you probably looked at that title and cringed at one or all of the movies on the list. Reboots are a fact of Hollywood life these days, as inevitable as death and taxes. And while I’m not exactly pleased with all these remakes, I am probably going to see all of them. Because there’s always the slim chance that they will out-do the original. And if it doesn’t stand-up to the source material, it’s at least fun to watch the train wreck unfold on the big screen. Here’s the latest scoop on the newest crop of Hollywood cash cows:

Carrie

There has been a lot of talk about this re-make of the classic Stephen King tale. I have recently become a fan of King’s writing (a little late to the party, but I’m devouring every one of his books to catch up), and I’m rather excited about all the reports. First Chloë Grace Moretz is put in the role of Carrie. I have faith that with her pedigree (Kick-Ass, Let Me In, (500) Days of Summer), she can do the part some justice. Now Julianne Moore has been offered the role of Margaret White, Carrie’s crazy pants mom. One of the things I find exciting is that they’re not just re-making the iconic 1976 Brian DePalma movie. Moretz has said (via Coming Soon) that they’re “doing a re-tooling of it… going off the book. It’s much darker and more psychological. More like Black Swan.” Set in modern day, the story should resonate with today’s current climate of bullying awareness. Let’s hope that it can live up to expectations, and that Julianne Moore says “yes” to the role of Mommy.

Poltergeist

I’ve watched the original Poltergeist more times that I can count. But it wasn’t until recently that I saw the “making of” in the special features of the DVD. In it, the writers (Steven Spielberg among them) explain that they based the ghostly terrors on actual accounts of hauntings. It’s amped up for the theater, but most of the little things the poltergeist does (such as moving things around and flickering lights in sets of threes) are from documented paranormal experiences. As if the movie wasn’t creepy enough. Fans can now expect to see the horror again, as Sam Raimi (director of Spiderman and Evil Dead) has announced plans to produce a re-make. He’s working with David Lindsay-Abaire (who is currently writing the upcoming Oz: The Great and Powerful with Raimi) to put together a script. There’s not a lot of information yet, but as they start signing on actors and a director it will become clearer what sort of plans Raimi has in place for Poltergeist.

The Evil Dead

Sam Raimi is certainly a busy producer (see above paragraph on Poltergeist remake). But I’m sure that this remake is incredibly important to him, considering the original is the movie that made him the well respected horror movie staple that he is today. Along with Bruce Campbell (who shot to fame after starring in Evil Dead), they helped to bring the Evil Dead back to life. They handed over directing reins to Fede Alvarez (known for the short film Panic Attack), and cast a bunch of relative unknowns to mirror the 1981 version. Principal photography started in New Zealand with Shiloh Fernandez ( from Red Riding Hood) and Jane Levy (from Shameless), among with some others names I don’t recognize. Bruce Campbell is going to have a cameo along with his producing duties, which pretty much guarantees awesomeness. Diablo Cody (who wrote Jennifer’s Body and Juno) described the movie as “unbelievably violent”, a term that gives hope to horror fans everywhere that this will be a reboot to remember.

Van Helsing

Picture this people: Tom Cruise as Abraham Van Helsing. I know, I can’t see it either. That’s not saying that Tom Cruise is a bad actor (he’s not), or that he’s not cute enough (he has gotten a little…old), or that he can’t handle the action (see Mission: Impossible 1-4). But it’s the bad-ass vampire hunting part of the equation that stumps me. Tom Cruise is cool, but he’s not awesome enough to pull off beating the shit out of the undead. I mean, look at the company he’s joining: Buffy, Angel, Blade, Abraham Lincoln… he just doesn’t really stand a chance in that crowd. I suppose I should give him the benefit of the doubt, he did make an okay vampire in Interview with the Vampire. Alex Kurtzman and Robert Orci are set to produce (and they’ve been behind Transformers and Star Trek), and they at least have to do somewhat better than the 2004 Stephen Sommers version. At least, we hope that they can learn from past mistakes.

Which of these remakes are you excited about? Which ones are you dreading?