- Likeness to real JS
- Special Effects
Special Effects: Hill Vinot, Sabine Asanger
Actors: Jeremy Luc, Melissa Molinaro, Jack Scalia, Daniel Booko, Alex Mauriello, Audi Resendez, Ben Giroux, Vinny Guadagnino
Writers: Richard Gnolfo, Michael Ciminera, Jeffrey Schenck, Peter Sullivan Costume Design: Nicole Schott
If you enjoy making fun of the stupidly popular show Jersey Shore as much as I do, this movie is certainly for you. Even if you are a fan of the series, the hilarity of this movie will not evade you, as one of the cast members even joins in on the fun. The premise is, that off the coast of Seaside Heights there have been a string of mysterious missing persons reports and while getting their GTL on one day, one of their pals gets eaten by a mutant shark. We see The Complication (TC), Nooki and crew try to convince the chief of police, who happens to be TC’s dad, that the sharks are real and they should close the beaches. With it being fourth of July weekend Sherriff Moretti refuses and tell the kids to stay out of trouble. I should warn you though, do not take this movie seriously because it is the most hilarious SyFy made for TV movie I have ever seen.
With a bunch of actors that excel in cheesy and kitschy, we have the parallels of the actual cast of Jersey Shore: Gino “The Complication” Moretti, Nicolina “Nooki” Santamaria, Paulie Balzac (LOL), J-Moni, BJ, and Joey “JP” Pelligrino. Each one is as Jersey-fied as they could possibly get appearing very tan, and very Northern. While some of the ties between characters aren’t quite the same as our real gang, they still make you cringe with their lingo and grotesque behavior. Jeremy Luc (TC) plays a similar role to The Situation, who is a macho man with a bad attitude, but our guy is a little less rowdy and a lot more of a leader in the movie. He carries us through the entire thing with the leading lady Melissa Molinaro (Nooki), who is the perfect mirror of Snooki except for the fact that she gets to wield a gun and I don’t think anyone would trust the real “meatball” to do that. These two are the main focus, but Daniel Brooko (Paulie) gives the most amazing performance as the faithful side-kick with a little bit of brainless enthusiasm that gets more than a few laughs.
I don’t know if I could really call this good, but its definitely entertaining. With many funny made-up words and strange exchanges between characters, you won’t get bored watching them take the difficult way around getting to the bottom of the shark problem. TC even figures out the exact reason why the sharks are attracted to Seaside Heights, but no one will believe them because they are known for causing unwarranted trouble in the past. With a few explosions and a high powered machine gun battle with the sharks you couldn’t ask for much more in a movie made by SyFy. Eerily similar to the plot of Jaws, its at least based off a pretty good shark flick.
Nicole Schott, who has designed the costumes on a few movies I have never heard of, did the awesome work on this one. Trashy bikinis, sky high hooker heels, self tanner, and enough hair gel to fill up a swimming pool, this wardrobe was creepily similar to the real thing. Each character was dressed perfectly, even down to cheap colored hair extensions. Of course, this is a much more exaggerated take on the cast’s silly apparel which we can all agree would look funny in our hometowns.
Likeness to the real Jersey Shore
While I’d like to say it was like watching the real cast, this group of guidos is much more ridiculous and has access to a huge gun closet. Not trying to be mean spirited they even included Vinny, the most down to earth member of the crew, to help poke fun at some of their antics. Hopefully Snooki and J-Woww can sit and laugh at the sheer silliness of it all and not get offended like some celebrities might get if put in the same position.
The Bad (But still so good):
Extremely cheesy, and not believable at all, the effects will have you laughing harder than the already hilarious premise. From changing the appearance of the sharks throughout different scenes, and the buckets of blood that end up all over any innocent bystander of an attack, Hill Vinot certainly wasn’t too worried about the effects ruining anyone’s movie watching experience. While they might have been bad and corny, the visuals made me laugh out loud more than once, and added to the overall hilarity.
Buy It, Rent It, Skip It:
Please don’t spend money on this if you ever stumble across an opportunity to buy this movie. I can assure you that SyFy will play it endlessly as it is perhaps one of the greatest ones they’ve made. If you have access to DVR you should most certainly set that to record and get the whole family around to watch it one night. It has comedy that reaches all generations.
Overall Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5
Do not let this medium rating fool you, this is a must see if you love cheesy gore. Jersey Shore Shark Attack is surely one of SyFy’s greatest movies to date and, as my dad is a huge fan of the channel, I’m usually subjected to watching them all. I can’t complain too much when they are comedic as this one turned out to be, and I suggest that everyone takes the time to catch it next time it airs.